They Keep Killing Jack
by Commander-June
Summary: Guess how appealing it must be to find out HOW immmortal Jack is after all... Some totally random Torchwood one-shot collection stuffage I wrote last year.
1. Chapter 1

Standing on the roof of the Millennium Centre Jack watched the dark skies over Cardiff.  
Musing about all the people living without even knowing about the dangers he and his team were fighting against...

"...Outside the government, beyond the police,  
tracking down alien life on earth,  
and arming the hu..."

Suddenly he felt a pair of hands grabbing his back, then abruptly pushing him, digging him off the roof.  
He was losing grip, was slipping down the gentle ankle of the roof.  
Then he fell.  
For a second he caught a glimpse at the one who was pushing him off the edge.

"John, you're such a bastaaaard....." He shouted out before he hit the ground.

John Hart shrugged. "Well, just wasn't able to resist, my dear..."


	2. Chapter 2

Raising his eyebrows Jack stared at Owen.  
"You really should clear your preferences, or rather find some things more worthy to penetrate other peoples bodies with..."

Owen sighed.  
"It's not 'bout fucking, it's medical curiosity. You can say it's research for the greater good..." Smirking Jack laid down.

"Well then, who am I to disagree with the greater good, eh?"

Owen grabbed for the already prepared jab and slowly began to penetrate Jack's arm with the needle. It only took some seconds until Jack burst into a loud groaning.

"What the hell are you injecting me?" He asked, already beginning to shake his body.

"Oh well... Air..."

"Why the hell are you... Pumping air... Into my... Veins?!"

"You're my first immortal specimen - Just wasn't able to resist..."


	3. Chapter 3

Wearing his red UNIT cap Ianto bit his lower lip and grinned nasty.  
His hands gently moved over Jack's body, wiping down his blue shirt, then his white tee.  
Jack silently enjoyed Ianto's warmth and softly pulled him closer to his own body, while removing his tea-boy's tie and his belt.

With a bright grin Ianto raised his stun-gun and pushed it at Jack's chest. With a characteristic noise he activated it and Jack's body began to contract.

"What the hell?!" Jack asked, while Ianto repeated it several times, watching Jack falling out of his chair right on the floor.

"Well... You're my first immortal fuck - Thought we might develop a more exiting love life here.  
Just wasn't able to resist..."


	4. Chapter 4

Running after the weekly Weevil Jack crossed the street, crossed another, and nearly lost his centre of attention, for that guy was pretty darn quick.  
He wondered if Weevils ever got exhausted at all.  
He also wondered where all the others where, but there was no time to make a group call.  
He took his pistol and aimed it at the far-to-fast-for-him Weevil who was slowly beginning to fade in the bad sight of this dark rainy night.  
Aiming Jack was already starting to press his finger at the trigger, when he heared a loud, squeaking noise before something dragged him off his feed, flinging him several feet through the air until he hit the ground again.

Braking in the curve Rhys' car stopped, and he and Gwen quickly jumped out.

"Rhys! What have you done?!" Gwen shouted out, knocking at her boyfriends' chest, and then running over to Jack.

With an inhibited laugh he looked at her.  
"The first immortal _far too good looking_ boss of my girlfriend.  
Just wasn't able to resist..."


	5. Chapter 5

Thoughtfully watching her screens Toshiko listened to Jack's status report.  
"Well, yes, this should work." She began while opening the outline data of the enemies' operation base.

_"Alright Tosh, It might be helpful to know whether to follow this corridor, or to take the offset over here... "_ His voice spoke through the tiny headphone in her ear.

With a short glimpse at the plans she nodded and planned the next route for him.  
"...Alright Jack, take the offset and walk about 70 feet forward until you reach a big secured hatch, there it is..."

_"Allright, Tosh.."_ He answered and ran through the dark corridor, reaching the hatch and finally opening it.

Through the headphone Tosh clearly was able to hear shooting machine guns and a screaming Jack.  
With a shy smile she bit her lips.

"Sorry Jack - You are my first immortal scout, I just was not able to resist..."


	6. Chapter 6

Sitting at the table of the meeting room Gwen leaned back in her chair, looking at Owen and Ianto.  
"...Really guys, we should stop filling Jack with Retcon after killing him. I think everyone had their fun now..."

Owen rolled his eyes and laid his head back while whistling.

Ianto cleared his throat, then nodded slightly. "Well, maybe you're right, we're slowly running dry of Retcon..."

"Naaaw, well..." Owen began. "I don't think Jack would mind being centre of our fun games at all.."

Gwen looked at Owen with her typical reproachful big eyes, when they suddenly got interrupted by Tosh, who was quickly appearing in the meeting room too, clearing her throat.

"Guys, I fear we've miscalculated the Retcon-dose again. Jack's poisoned again..."

A collective harried groaning sounded through the Hub...


End file.
